Example Telling Others About Your Cancer Event
Finding out you have cancer can be overwhelming for you as well as friends and family.
Telling Others About Your Cancer
Finding out you have cancer can be overwhelming for you as well as friends and family. People often don’t know what to say. They may feel sad and uncomfortable and might be afraid of upsetting you. They might be frightened about the possibility of losing you. Sometimes people find it easier to say nothing because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. Some people find it easy to talk, while others may become overly careful or act too cheerful.
You most likely will have many different emotions as you learn more about your diagnosis and begin to learn about treatment options. It’s normal to wonder, “Why me?” or to feel sad, angry, or afraid. Physical and chemical changes from the treatment or the cancer itself can also affect your emotions. The first step is to admit to yourself how you feel. It’s OK to let yourself feel the way you do.
Only you can decide when to tell your friends and family you have cancer. People are very sobered by the news that someone has cancer. Most people need and want to talk to someone when they find themselves in this kind of situation. It may be even more important for single people without supportive family members nearby to let close friends know what’s happening. Think ahead so you can tell them what they can do when they ask how they can help – people who live alone often have a few extra needs compared to those who live with others.
Sometimes, telling those closest to you helps you take in the reality of what’s happening. Some people find that by talking, they begin to solve problems and think about other issues as their family and friends ask questions.
Think about how much you want to share. You might want to explain what kind of cancer you have, which treatments you might need, and your outlook (or prognosis). As you talk with others, you may want to write down the questions that come up so that you can discuss them with your cancer care team.
It could be helpful to start by making a list of people that you want to talk to in person. Then you can make another list of friends that you socialize with less often and have another friend or family member contact them with the news.
People usually tell their spouse or partner first, then other family and close friends. It’s also important to tell your children, which might require more preparation depending on their ages. Learn more in Helping Children When a Family Member Has Cancer: Dealing With Diagnosis.